Use the comment section below to Ask Janet a question. Your submission is anonymous unless you include your email address.

Question: Is faith an illusion?

Does it really matter?

From one perspective, everything is illusion. Our minds are just like laser beams, focusing on the hologram. Of all the possibilities, they manifest whatever they focus on. We humans, like our Creator, create.

The more important question is what does each of us choose to believe in, choose to focus on, choose to create: Hate or love? Despair or Joy? Resentment or gratitude? What does each of us want to manifest? What can we create together? Can we create a peaceful, powerful, prosperous world?

Question: Have you ever had the feeling/ experience of feeling self righteous in any way?

Absolutely!  I am very self righteous in the sense of always trusting my own perceptions, emotions, and experiences.  At the same time I consciously try to stay open to and hear the expressed perceptions, emotions, and experiences of others.  The form these take may be quite different from my own, but they always provide information about where, mentally and emotionally, the other person is and about the relationship between us.  A short way of saying this is that I am always right for myself at any given moment in time.  I am never right for anyone else.  If the relationship continues, it is because both of us move toward tolerance, respect, and a fuller understanding of one another.  If it doesn’t, it’s because one of the two people believes their own perceptions, emotions, and experiences are the only valid ones.  That, to me, is the kind of self-righteousness condemned by religion.

Define “word sculpt” … .sounds…cool… .

Word sculpting is taking raw energy, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual, and structuring the energy, through words or symbols, into helpful tools, constructive directions, and win/win solutions. If we’re speaking of emotional energy, the raw emotion is always bringing a message that something needs to change. The question is what and how. That’s where learning to ask the right questions is effective. If you’re asking the wrong questions, you’re not going to get answers.

With word sculpting, you work on yourself, which is where your power is, and change others indirectly by changing yourself directly.

Question: What if my heart and mind just WON’T forgive? Should I fake it??

No. Faking it is emotional dishonesty. Better to be authentically unforgiving than self-righteously forgiving. But once you recognize this ugly feeling that is part of you, the question becomes: what are you going to do with it?

One thing you can do is give it a little love. Forgive yourself for your unforgiveness. You can ask yourself what it is in your actions or relationships that you need to change so that you don’t have to feel this emotion again.

Forgiving yourself increases the forgiveness in the world and makes it easier for you to forgive others. However, if you don’t also change your actions which contributed to your feelings of unforgiveness, you’re going to simmer in unforgiveness forever. What an ugly thought! Changing your actions may require setting boundaries and that has nothing to do with lack of love. In fact, setting boundaries is love.

Question: I’m 51 and I want to change my mindset. I want to have better self-esteem and bring positive changes into my life. One thing I really struggle with is jealousy. I hate how it overwhelms me when I feel like I’m losing someone. It’s ruined many a relationship. What can I do? I ordered the “Shift” book. Will the messages in there help me? Thank you.

Kudos! I can tell from what you’ve written that you’re already well on your way to better self-esteem and a satisfying, dynamic life. Knowing what you want is vital. You can’t achieve what you want until you know what it is. You clearly do.

Jealousy is closely related to low self-esteem so stay focused on building your self-esteem. Jealousy is also related to believing that your happiness comes from someone else. It doesn’t. It comes from within you. Nobody can give you happiness and nobody can stop you from having it except you. Just think of the power and control that puts in your hands.

We all experience overwhelm at times. It’s part of being human. Overwhelm is a friend, bringing you a message that there’s something in your life you need to change. If you listen, figure out the message, and decide you want to move on to something more pleasant, here are some actions that may help:

  1. Consciously bring your mind back to the present moment. The present moment is the only moment in which you can choose and act.
  2. Ask yourself what you want to do now. This does not include changing or hurting anyone else. Do you want to go for a walk, beat up a pillow, get your thoughts and feelings out on paper, cry your eyes out? Go do it and watch as your energy shifts.
  3. Write yourself some affirmations and put them where you can see them every day. Affirmations remind you that you already have many skills, talents, and values on which you can build. Do you have beautiful eyes? An excellent mind? Can you draw or paint? Sing well? Are you good with figures? Do you love gardening? Do you take good care of your home? Your family? Are you accountable? Honest? Loyal? If any of these qualities apply to you, write them down in this form: I am loyal. I am trustworthy. You can probably think of many more.
  4. Set aside a couple of hours to create a vision board. Vision boards keep you focused on your values and what you want to bring into your life. Get yourself a piece of poster board large enough for a collage. Sit down with some old magazines you don’t mind cutting up and cut out anything you like: beautiful homes, seascapes, gardens, exotic places, words that inspire you. When you have a nice pile of cutouts, arrange them into a collage on the poster board, then paste them down. If you want, you can have the vision board laminated for more durability. What is most important is to put it where you can see it every day.
  5. Notice the people with whom you spend time. Are they accountable, trustworthy and supportive or do you feel drained in their presence? Move out of relationships that drain you and seek out those that support you and help you move along your path in life.
  6. Trust yourself and love yourself. You are a unique human being who has much to offer this planet – things that no one else can. If you don’t do them, no one else will. Think big – bigger than you ever believed you could – and then move toward your vision and purpose, one little present moment step at a time.



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